


Whatever You Want

by thekingslover



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: 1x04, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix It Fic, M/M, make up after the break up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-18
Updated: 2014-10-18
Packaged: 2018-02-21 16:17:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2474504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekingslover/pseuds/thekingslover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Connor has no idea how to fix this. He just knows that he has to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whatever You Want

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my tumblr Coliver sideblog 'monicashipscoliver'. 1x04 fix it fic. Thanks to the anon that requested it. Enjoy!

Connor has no idea how to fix this. He just knows that he has to.

It’s never been like this before. He’s never felt _this_.

A dark pain pulsing just under his ribcage. He can’t breathe.

Oliver’s the best thing he’s had in a really, really long time, and he blew it. They weren’t boyfriends. It shouldn’t be a big deal.

But, _Jesus_ , Oliver was _crying_.

"Oliver, please," he says into the phone, his fourth message on Oliver’s voicemail. "I fucked up. I did, but I didn’t know. I’m not, I never…”

He doesn’t even know what he’s trying to say. He didn’t know this would hurt Oliver? That’s bullshit. He knew. That’s why he hesitated in the first place. But still, he went through with it.

Anything to get what he needed. No, what he _wanted_. And at any cost.

He’s paying for it now.

"No, this is on me. I’m a selfish shit." He barely recognizes his own voice for the way it trembles. "I don’t deserve you, Oliver. I don’t deserve anyone, but least of all you. And I… if we can…"

There’s nothing he can say to fix this. There’s no reason good enough that Oliver should take him back. He can’t talk his way out of this.

And maybe Oliver is better off without him.

Connor pushes a hand through his hair. He made Oliver _cry_.

"You’re right," Connor says, voice only a whisper now. "And I…"

_Say it. You have to say it. For_ him.

"I just want you to be happy, Oliver. Whatever…" He swallows hard. "Whatever you want, I… Just don’t fall for anymore guys like me."

He feels a laugh bubble in his chest, though nothing about this is funny.

"Goodbye Oli -"

The voicemail cuts him off. He’s spoken too long.

He stares at his phone. He wants to call again - call a thousand times - until he can hear Oliver’s voice again and know everything is alright.

But he wasn’t lying in his message.

He wants Oliver to be happy. And that means letting him go.

Connor drops his phone onto the couch and buries his face in his hands.

He’ll never find another like Oliver. Those thick-rimmed glasses. Those kind eyes. That wide gummy smile that could light the whole room.

“ _Shit_.” Connor’s hands shake.

He’ll never kiss Oliver again. Or hold him. Or _ever see him again_.

“ _Shit. Shit. Shit!_ ”

His phone rings on the couch. He almost doesn’t hear it at first, the ringer’s facing the cushion, muffled. But when the chime does reach his ears, he pounces.

The screen reads Oliver.

"Hello? Oliver? Listen, I -"

"Shut up, Connor," Oliver says, and Connor bites back a sob. Oliver only wants to tell him to stop calling.

Oliver takes a breath. Connor’s holding his.

Then Oliver says, “Come over.”

"What?"

"I’m pissed. But… we’ll talk."

"Oliver, please, just - "

"Come over, Connor," Oliver says and hangs up.

Connor runs out the door.

* * * 

Four hours, three hundred apologies, and two mind-blowing rounds of make-up sex later, Connor is safe and warm and happy, tangled in Oliver’s arms.

They’re exclusive now. No more misunderstandings.

_Whatever you want_ , Connor had said. He’d meant it. He still does.

Oliver kisses the top of Connor’s head. Not for the first time tonight, he says, “I want _you_.”


End file.
